Breastfeeding

First of all let me start out by saying that I am not a pushy breastfeeder.  To explain what I mean let me tell you a little story.  I attended a short class on breastfeeding (not at a hospital), thinking I would learn techniques for breastfeeding.  I was pregnant with my second child and I was not super successful with breastfeeding my first born.  I was really wanting to make it work this time and wanted some help.  When I showed up for the class, the lady informed us that she breastfed all of her children and some until they were 4 years old.  She then informed us that she has been a wet nurse for some 40+ children and that she was currently pregnant in her late 40s.  Now on the surface this may sound like this woman is a very thoughtful person to help so many babies, and she probably is.  But what bothered me is that after she told us about herself, she then began using scare tactics to try and convince everyone that they had better breastfeed, or their child would be dumb, sickly, and obese.  If I had been a young teen who was in this class, I would have been terrified that I was going to bring great harm to my child if I didn't breastfeed.  Thank goodness I have had great mentors of breastfeeding that told me the truth.  Breastfeeding is the best way to feed your child, but if it doesn't work, then your child will grow up just fine.  Your child will still get sick sometimes whether they are breastfed or not.  Obesity is a choice not a byproduct of formula.  And I don't know much about how smart breastfed babies are compared to formula fed babies, but I know plenty of smart people from both sides.  I am an advocate for breastfeeding and I would be happy to help any new mom who needed support.  In fact I attend a breastfeeding support group.  The way the ladies have made me feel is the way professionals should approach breastfeeding.  Life isn't perfect so we shouldn't expect breastfeeding to work perfect for every person.  Sometimes life circumstances screw things up making our ideal not possible.  We need to let go and know that everything will be okay and we will be great moms whether we breastfeed or not.  And we need to hear that from the professionals in the hospitals.  We need encouragement and direction, not chastisement and shaming.  We need a gentle hand and patience from our helpers and we need patience for ourselves.  I also commend those moms who have withstood horrible barriers to breastfeeding and have persevered through pain and infection. 
I feel like I am rambling on and on.  So to summarize: Breastfeeding is great, but formula works too.  Find a good support group to attend and ask for what you need from the staff at the hospital.  Do some of your own research.  But more than anything cut yourself some slack.  If it doesn't work, don't sweat it.

Negative Thinking

Thoughts are powerful.  So powerful in fact that the Bible talks a lot about our thought life.  One of my favorite verses, well actually is it half of a verse is 2 Corinthians 10:5b "we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."  Another great verse is Phillipians 4:8 "Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable -- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy -- think about such things."  These verses help to remind me that my thoughts can sometimes be my enemy but I can control my thoughts.  I bring up this subject because I think as wives and mothers we often beat ourselves up and let our thoughts run away with us.  We think that we are not good enough, or that we are bad moms, or that we are not sexy.  Then we let our thoughts start messing with our relationships.  We read things into what our husbands say that isn't there.  We think he is mad at us, or disappointed in us when he hasn't really said anything at all related to that.  These thoughts are not true and are so destructive.  We need to challenge these thoughts, test them.  We need to remind ourselves of the good that is in us and the good that is all around us.  We need to take these thoughts captive and make them obedient to Christ.

Grocery Solutions

Well I had a request to talk about grocery budget and meal planning.  Well I have a few thoughts but I would love to hear some from all of you so that we can all become grocery gurus.  One good idea is to plan your menu before you go to the store and only buy what is on your list.  This will help you lessen your impulse buys and stick to a budget.  When planning your menu plan for about 4-5 meals for a 7 day period.  I have found that you usually have a couple nights a week that you don't eat at home, whether you eat out or are at someone else's house.  Also plan for a leftover night atleast once a week.  Try not to buy more than you can use in a week.  This will cut down on wasting food.  Another tip is to always buy a frozen pizza just in case you have a crazy night with no time to plan or cook dinner.  Also have a night once a month where you eat only things from your pantry to help clean it out.  Now about meal planning.  I am learning that the trick is to keep it simple.  Try to find recipes that call for no more than 5 ingredients and that they are ingredients you would normally buy on a regular basis.  For example one of our favorite meals is tilapia, roasted broccoli, and rice.  I dip the fish in milk, then in a bread crumb, parm, salt and pep mixture and pan fry (10 minutes) while the broccoli, sprinkled with secret seasoning, is roasting in the oven (15 minutes).  Then I pop one of those 90 second rice bags in the microwave.  Dinner on the table in 30 minutes and it is healthy.  Those kind of meals are great.  Another idea is keep a list of your favorite meals to refer to each week so you don't have to reinvent the wheel.  I hope all this helps.  As a side note, use the websites on your weekly grocery flyers to get exclusive offers and coupons.  You can also contact the companies that make products you love and ask them for coupons.  I would still love to hear how all of you do it.  Thanks.

Living with Compassion

Ever woke up annoyed with your husband?  Well I did today.  It really wasn't anything specific but we have been trying to start a small business and I am totally stressed.  Well enough of my sob story.  I am actually writing to tell you about something that helped me release the annoyance and stress.  We sing a song at my church called "I Then Shall Live" by Gloria Gather.  The second verse goes like this

I then shall live as one who's learned compassion
I've been so loved that I'll risk loving too
I know how fear builds wall instead of bridges
I'll dare to see another's point of view
And when relationships demand commitment
Then I'll be there to care and follow through

There have been many times in my marriage where this song has helped me gain perspective.  I often lack mercy for others when I feel like they don't show me mercy.  But that is not what Christ did for me.  He showed me mercy and grace, enough of it to die in my place.  He doesn't ask me to die for my husband's wrongs, but to show him compassion.  None of us is perfect and we would do good to give each other the benefit of the doubt even when they may not deserve it.  Commitment is a choice and I'll be there to care and follow through.

Being Okay with the Mess

I can't say that I have ever been a great housekeeper, but life with little ones makes me the worst housekeeper I have ever seen.  When I worked full-time pre-kids, I was barely able to keep up with the house chores.  Then my daughter came along and it took me about 8 months to feel like I could get anything done.  Now my son is 6 months old and I do alright with cleaning but it seems like the mess grows while we are all sleeping.  It is amazing to me how much adding one tiny person to a house can make so much more mess.  When my best friend found out she was pregnant with her second, I told her she should prepare herself for her house to be in constant disarray.  She has always been better at keeping her house looking spotless than I am, but she too had to admit that sometimes you just have to let things go.  My biggest challenge isn't even the cleaning itself but the motivation to do it.  When your chores are interrupted every 10 or so minutes for a diaper change or a feeding or a boo boo, it is hard to stay focused.  The thing that seems to work for me is to set 1-3 goals of things I would like to accomplish before my husband gets home from work.  I find that this helps me keep some focus.  Now my goal is to cut down on the unnecessary distractions like the TV and Facebook:)  I would love any insights the rest of you may have on trying to keep the house in order.  But my advice for all is: it is okay to sometimes have a little mess if it helps keep mommy sane.

Morning Prayer

Good Morning Lord, it's me again.  Thank you for another day.   Thank you for my family.  Thank you for a good night's sleep.  Thank you that my kids are healthy.  I pray for those children who are sick.  I pray that you would bless them and their families.  You especially know their pain as you watched your son be beaten and hung on a cross.  Lord touch their bodies and give them strength.  Surround those families with loving friends and support.  Help me to never take my health or my family's health for granted.  Thank you for another Lord's Day to stop and remember you and your many blessings.  Amen.

Brevity

My daughter has a bit of a cold and has been waking up every hour for the past two nights, wanting a drink or chapstick or Tylenol.  And tonight my son is refusing to go to sleep.  These times can be so frustrating especially when you have lots to get done the next day and no energy to do it.  But as my son sits on my lap, pulling my hair as I try and type, I am reminded to savor even these moments.  I have had those nights where I have placed my screaming child safely in their crib and turned the TV on loud enough so that I can't hear them to save my sanity.  But those nights of torture are minimal compared to the overwhelming joy my children have brought to my life.  18 years is so brief a time compared to my already 31 years.  I know I will blink and this phase of my life will be over.  I want to cherish each moment, even the rough ones.