Breastfeeding

First of all let me start out by saying that I am not a pushy breastfeeder.  To explain what I mean let me tell you a little story.  I attended a short class on breastfeeding (not at a hospital), thinking I would learn techniques for breastfeeding.  I was pregnant with my second child and I was not super successful with breastfeeding my first born.  I was really wanting to make it work this time and wanted some help.  When I showed up for the class, the lady informed us that she breastfed all of her children and some until they were 4 years old.  She then informed us that she has been a wet nurse for some 40+ children and that she was currently pregnant in her late 40s.  Now on the surface this may sound like this woman is a very thoughtful person to help so many babies, and she probably is.  But what bothered me is that after she told us about herself, she then began using scare tactics to try and convince everyone that they had better breastfeed, or their child would be dumb, sickly, and obese.  If I had been a young teen who was in this class, I would have been terrified that I was going to bring great harm to my child if I didn't breastfeed.  Thank goodness I have had great mentors of breastfeeding that told me the truth.  Breastfeeding is the best way to feed your child, but if it doesn't work, then your child will grow up just fine.  Your child will still get sick sometimes whether they are breastfed or not.  Obesity is a choice not a byproduct of formula.  And I don't know much about how smart breastfed babies are compared to formula fed babies, but I know plenty of smart people from both sides.  I am an advocate for breastfeeding and I would be happy to help any new mom who needed support.  In fact I attend a breastfeeding support group.  The way the ladies have made me feel is the way professionals should approach breastfeeding.  Life isn't perfect so we shouldn't expect breastfeeding to work perfect for every person.  Sometimes life circumstances screw things up making our ideal not possible.  We need to let go and know that everything will be okay and we will be great moms whether we breastfeed or not.  And we need to hear that from the professionals in the hospitals.  We need encouragement and direction, not chastisement and shaming.  We need a gentle hand and patience from our helpers and we need patience for ourselves.  I also commend those moms who have withstood horrible barriers to breastfeeding and have persevered through pain and infection. 
I feel like I am rambling on and on.  So to summarize: Breastfeeding is great, but formula works too.  Find a good support group to attend and ask for what you need from the staff at the hospital.  Do some of your own research.  But more than anything cut yourself some slack.  If it doesn't work, don't sweat it.

Negative Thinking

Thoughts are powerful.  So powerful in fact that the Bible talks a lot about our thought life.  One of my favorite verses, well actually is it half of a verse is 2 Corinthians 10:5b "we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."  Another great verse is Phillipians 4:8 "Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable -- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy -- think about such things."  These verses help to remind me that my thoughts can sometimes be my enemy but I can control my thoughts.  I bring up this subject because I think as wives and mothers we often beat ourselves up and let our thoughts run away with us.  We think that we are not good enough, or that we are bad moms, or that we are not sexy.  Then we let our thoughts start messing with our relationships.  We read things into what our husbands say that isn't there.  We think he is mad at us, or disappointed in us when he hasn't really said anything at all related to that.  These thoughts are not true and are so destructive.  We need to challenge these thoughts, test them.  We need to remind ourselves of the good that is in us and the good that is all around us.  We need to take these thoughts captive and make them obedient to Christ.

Grocery Solutions

Well I had a request to talk about grocery budget and meal planning.  Well I have a few thoughts but I would love to hear some from all of you so that we can all become grocery gurus.  One good idea is to plan your menu before you go to the store and only buy what is on your list.  This will help you lessen your impulse buys and stick to a budget.  When planning your menu plan for about 4-5 meals for a 7 day period.  I have found that you usually have a couple nights a week that you don't eat at home, whether you eat out or are at someone else's house.  Also plan for a leftover night atleast once a week.  Try not to buy more than you can use in a week.  This will cut down on wasting food.  Another tip is to always buy a frozen pizza just in case you have a crazy night with no time to plan or cook dinner.  Also have a night once a month where you eat only things from your pantry to help clean it out.  Now about meal planning.  I am learning that the trick is to keep it simple.  Try to find recipes that call for no more than 5 ingredients and that they are ingredients you would normally buy on a regular basis.  For example one of our favorite meals is tilapia, roasted broccoli, and rice.  I dip the fish in milk, then in a bread crumb, parm, salt and pep mixture and pan fry (10 minutes) while the broccoli, sprinkled with secret seasoning, is roasting in the oven (15 minutes).  Then I pop one of those 90 second rice bags in the microwave.  Dinner on the table in 30 minutes and it is healthy.  Those kind of meals are great.  Another idea is keep a list of your favorite meals to refer to each week so you don't have to reinvent the wheel.  I hope all this helps.  As a side note, use the websites on your weekly grocery flyers to get exclusive offers and coupons.  You can also contact the companies that make products you love and ask them for coupons.  I would still love to hear how all of you do it.  Thanks.

Living with Compassion

Ever woke up annoyed with your husband?  Well I did today.  It really wasn't anything specific but we have been trying to start a small business and I am totally stressed.  Well enough of my sob story.  I am actually writing to tell you about something that helped me release the annoyance and stress.  We sing a song at my church called "I Then Shall Live" by Gloria Gather.  The second verse goes like this

I then shall live as one who's learned compassion
I've been so loved that I'll risk loving too
I know how fear builds wall instead of bridges
I'll dare to see another's point of view
And when relationships demand commitment
Then I'll be there to care and follow through

There have been many times in my marriage where this song has helped me gain perspective.  I often lack mercy for others when I feel like they don't show me mercy.  But that is not what Christ did for me.  He showed me mercy and grace, enough of it to die in my place.  He doesn't ask me to die for my husband's wrongs, but to show him compassion.  None of us is perfect and we would do good to give each other the benefit of the doubt even when they may not deserve it.  Commitment is a choice and I'll be there to care and follow through.

Being Okay with the Mess

I can't say that I have ever been a great housekeeper, but life with little ones makes me the worst housekeeper I have ever seen.  When I worked full-time pre-kids, I was barely able to keep up with the house chores.  Then my daughter came along and it took me about 8 months to feel like I could get anything done.  Now my son is 6 months old and I do alright with cleaning but it seems like the mess grows while we are all sleeping.  It is amazing to me how much adding one tiny person to a house can make so much more mess.  When my best friend found out she was pregnant with her second, I told her she should prepare herself for her house to be in constant disarray.  She has always been better at keeping her house looking spotless than I am, but she too had to admit that sometimes you just have to let things go.  My biggest challenge isn't even the cleaning itself but the motivation to do it.  When your chores are interrupted every 10 or so minutes for a diaper change or a feeding or a boo boo, it is hard to stay focused.  The thing that seems to work for me is to set 1-3 goals of things I would like to accomplish before my husband gets home from work.  I find that this helps me keep some focus.  Now my goal is to cut down on the unnecessary distractions like the TV and Facebook:)  I would love any insights the rest of you may have on trying to keep the house in order.  But my advice for all is: it is okay to sometimes have a little mess if it helps keep mommy sane.

Morning Prayer

Good Morning Lord, it's me again.  Thank you for another day.   Thank you for my family.  Thank you for a good night's sleep.  Thank you that my kids are healthy.  I pray for those children who are sick.  I pray that you would bless them and their families.  You especially know their pain as you watched your son be beaten and hung on a cross.  Lord touch their bodies and give them strength.  Surround those families with loving friends and support.  Help me to never take my health or my family's health for granted.  Thank you for another Lord's Day to stop and remember you and your many blessings.  Amen.

Brevity

My daughter has a bit of a cold and has been waking up every hour for the past two nights, wanting a drink or chapstick or Tylenol.  And tonight my son is refusing to go to sleep.  These times can be so frustrating especially when you have lots to get done the next day and no energy to do it.  But as my son sits on my lap, pulling my hair as I try and type, I am reminded to savor even these moments.  I have had those nights where I have placed my screaming child safely in their crib and turned the TV on loud enough so that I can't hear them to save my sanity.  But those nights of torture are minimal compared to the overwhelming joy my children have brought to my life.  18 years is so brief a time compared to my already 31 years.  I know I will blink and this phase of my life will be over.  I want to cherish each moment, even the rough ones. 

Moody Radio

I want to share a little secret to some success in my life.  I listen to Moody Radio.  My parents have listened for years, but I used to think the station was so boring.  To be honest, I think the music they play is pretty boring but the other programs are great.  I get a lot of encouragement from several of the programs.  I also like the news updates.  They give you news that is informative without the liberal slant of the major news networks.  The news also includes updates on the middle east and missions in foreign lands.  My favorite programs are Family Life Today, Midday Connection, and In the Market with Janet Parchell.  Some other great programs are Revive our Hearts and Focus on the Family.  These programs give great advice on marriage, child rearing, womens issues, and even politics.  I feel better each time I listen.  The local call number is 97.9 FM and the website is moodyradio.org.  You can listen online as well.  Let me know your favorite programs. 

Tired and Weary

Last night was one of those nights that you just want to crawl into bed from sheer exhaustion.  I was just so tired, but the kids still needed to be put to bed and the husband needed my help.  It is times like this that just making sure the kids have clean diapers and have eaten seems like an accomplishment.  I then am reminded of one of my favorite passages of Scripture, Matthew 11:28-30.  Jesus says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."  And also II Corinthians 4:17, "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all."  All the sleepless nights can be placed in their proper position in the light of Jesus.  He can strength us for the journey and waits with our reward for a job well done.  I want to encourage all of you to sneak in a little time to get filled up, however you do that.  Whether your filling comes from reading Scripture, reading a book, taking a bath, or going to church.  For me it is listening to a radio program on Moody Radio or going for a walk.  These help me recharge and refocus.  I know that there are days when you can't even squeeze out a minute but as my friend Nate Feathers taught me -- lean back into Jesus' waiting arms and let Him hold you for awhile.

Saving Sense

As a stay at home mom, I am constantly looking for ways to save money.  I wanted to share one of the items I have found that is a great bargain.  I have always like my hair and have spent a lot of money on different shampoos trying to keep it looking good.  After I got married I thought I could afford to buy the really good stuff and did for a while, but now reality has set in.  I still want great hair but it can't cost me much.  I decided to shop around the shampoos and conditioners.  I have always liked Pantene and John Freida, but I thought I would give Suave Professionals a try.  I used Suave sometimes as a kid and didn't like it.  But I have to say I was swayed but their commercials.  And great news -- it really does what the commercials claim.  The first day I used it, I got a compliment on my hair.  It was manageable and shiny.  So then I thought I would try the regular old Suave, and that wasn't too bad.  It didn't do as good a job as the Professionals line but it worked good enough for me.  The great thing is that the big bottle of Suave Professionals is about $3 compared to $5 for Pantene.  Regular Suave is usually under $2 per bottle.  That is seriously cheap for decent hair.  I know I sound like a commercial myself, but I just wanted to give you my opinion about a product that is saving me some coin.  If you have any products that work well and are a great price, please share them in the comments section.  I will continue to bring you other great finds.

Grandma's Kitchen Prayer

My Grandma McCue passed away my senior year of high school.  I miss her and wish often that she was around to teach me all the womenly arts, like sewing, cross stitch, quilting, cooking, etc.  She was the stereotypicial grandma right down to the glasses, round belly, and apron.  She was a fellow homemaker who made everyone feel at home.  After my Grandpa passed away ten years after her, I received a placard that hung in her kitchen.  It is simply titled,
 "My Kitchen Prayer". 
Bless my pretty kitchen Lord
And light it with Thy Love.
Help me plan and cook my meals
From Thy heavenly home above.
Bless our meals with Thy Presence
And warm them with Thy grace;
Watch over me as I do my work,
Washing pots and pans and plates.
The service I am trying to do
Is to make my family content,
So bless my eager efforts Lord
And make them heaven sent.

I don't think I could say it better.  It is all about our perspective.  If chores are a chore, then we will easily get annoyed and run down.  But if we see each chore as a way of helping and caring, we will feel the joy in the role God has given us.  Thanks Grandma.

Be a Barnabas

I am finding that as a mother, I sometimes have a critical spirit.  I never thought of my way of correction as critical until listening to a radio program on Moody Radio.  I have a 9 year old step daughter and she is very different than me in personality and many other ways.  She has lots of energy and is in constant motion, while I like to sit and read or play a board game.  She loves to put on concerts where she starts over each time she makes a mistake while I was taught that if you make a mistake while singing, just keep singing and no one will notice.  I loved school and work hard at being an overachiever and getting straight A's.  She likes to learn but doesn't enjoy having to sit still in a classroom all day and doesn't get worked up about making a mistake.  We are about as different as different can be, but neither way we approach life is wrong.  We both love life and enjoy it.   But I have begun to notice that if she doesn't do things my way, I can often be critical.  I seem to think my way is right, and sometimes get caught up in arguing my point.  But does it really matter if she sings the exact right lyrics to a song?  Or if she wears her hair in a fountain shape on the top of her head?  Or wears flip flops in winter.  She has plenty of time to learn about life and how things work.  One of her girlfriends will show her a new way to wear her hair.  And someone will play her a new song that she will love and will listen to over and over again until she sings it in her sleep.  What is most important thing is that she knows I love her.  Kids need to hear that we love them.  They need to hear we are proud of them.  That we appreciate them.  And they need lots of hugs and loving touch.  The world will beat them up enough without us joining in.  Be a Barnabas in their lives.  Encourage them.  Lord help us to see our children through your eyes, as your perfect creation.

Diapers Diapers and more Diapers

If you are looking for affordable diapers, let me tell you what I have found.  I recommend diapers.com.  They offer $10 off your first purchase and also free shipping once you reach a certain dollar amount.  They ship directly to your home.  You can also use coupons.  You simply mail them in and they apply them to your account. 

Another great place for diapers is Aldi.  The Aldis in my area only have sizes 3, 4, and 5 but they are quality diapers for the price.  They are less than $6 for approximately 36 diapers. 

Luvs diapers are very reasonably priced as well.  They will also send you coupons if you sign up on their website.  I know that Pampers and Huggies are great but even with coupons the price cannot compete with Aldi and Luvs. 

One brand I do not recommend is Walmart’s Parents Choice.  I have found that the diapers get hard once wet.  It was like my child was wearing a brick.

Hope this helps:)

Battle Buddies

I know I haven't posted much yet, but I have mentioned the word "battle" when it comes to being a mom and wife.  This is because I believe we are in a battle.  A battle to save our families from Satan's clutches; to save them from any evil that would harm our children or our marriage.  I know that Satan's desire is to destroy us.  He wants our marriages to fail.  He wants to discourage us by making us tired and self critical.  But Praise God, my God has overcome the world!!  And thank God, He has not asked us to go at it alone.  He is with us but He has also given us fellow warriors.  This week I have felt especially stressed and last night I think I figured out part of the reason why.  I am a part of a weekly breastfeeding support group and I didn't attend group this week.  My church also did not have a Wednesday night service.  I also didn't get to see my best friend until today.  (My friend Andrea and I get together at least once a week.)  I realized today how much I depend on all these groups of people to help me build up my battle armor.  Without the encouragement of others, I know that I would question even God's presence.  God has given us friends as tangible pieces of Himself.  I thank God for my friends and those who speak truth in my life.  Remember ladies, don't isolate yourself.  Ask for help.  Reach out.  I know that life is crazy busy when you have kids, but find at least one friend that you can spend time with encouraging each other in the battle.  And to my dear friend -- thank you so much for your friendship!  You are always a breath of fresh air in my life.

The Stressed Out Prayer

Dear Lord, I pray that you would be with all the moms of the world.  I pray that you would give us strength to accomplish all that we intend to do.  But Lord if that is not what you have for us today, I pray that you would give us satisfaction in changing diapers, wiping faces, and making dinner.  Lord I pray that you will help us remember that even a dish washed is a help to make our home more comfy and loving.  That every time we put away that toy for the 30th time, that we are showing our family that we love them.  Help us to feel appreciated even when the "Thank you's" are few and far between.  Help us to cherish each "I love you Mommy".  And help us to leave our stress and worry in Your capable hands.  Bless us I pray. Amen.

The Constant Struggle

I don't know about you, but our decision for me to be a stay at home mom is often a point of contention.  Not just between my husband and myself, but for perfect strangers.  When I tell people I am a stay at home mom, the first response often is a sarcastic "that must be nice".  You know what?  It is nice. But isn't all bon-bons and movies.  It's crazy hard work.  I get so upset about people's negative views of the perfectly natural and rewarding role of wife and mother.  Isn't that why God made me? To be a helpmate.  Women's lib -- phooey!  I am a strong liberated women who wants to raise respectful, well mannered children and keep a happy husband.  I don't need a career to give me self worth.  Now I want you all to understand.   I chose this path for myself and my family.  It isn't the right path for everyone.  Some moms are career moms and it works for them.  I believe that God designed me for this.  I think we need to change people's views on the value of motherhood, child rearing, and homemaking.  They are lost arts.

Why I Did It

Before I was married, I never thought about being a homemaker -- only about having a career and getting married.  I knew wanted kids but that was as far as I had thought.  Even when my husband and I decided to try to get pregnant, staying home was not on my radar.  But about 5 months into the pregnancy I began to become very protective of this yet unborn child.  God was planting a seed in my heart.  I desired to raise our child with Godly morals.  I couldn't trust some stranger at a daycare to instill the values that I believed in.  No one could take care of our child better than her own mother.  Despite my desire, my husband decided that I would have to work because I carried our health insurance.  I knew that I would have to convince him that my staying home was to our benefit.  So I started to research the pros and cons of quitting my job and becoming a stay at home mom.  I called daycare providers and found an average of costs for daycare services for infants.  I found that I would only have $50 left each week from my check after paying for insurance and child care.  I talked to my mom and mother-in-law about their availability to watch our daughter.  My mom works full time so she was out.  My mother-in-law said she could handle a couple of days a week.  I also consulted stay at home moms about how they made it work.  I asked my pastor to pray for guidance.  I collected all my information -- I even had all the math charted on paper.   I prayed hard and approached my husband with all I had.  He wasn't impressed.  He had already made up his mind.  But so had I.  I didn't bring it up again to him, but I did bring it up to God, often.  Two weeks after the birth of our daughter, while watching TV, my husband leaned over to me and simply stated "You can stay home".  That was it.  No discussion, just a change of heart, a miracle.  I can't say that that was the last time we have brought up the subject of me working outside of the home, but God has continued to provide for us.  I continue to pray that God will lead give us wisdom about our finances and what I can do to help be a good steward of those finances.  I also pray that God will continue to speak to my husband about the benefit of my current role as "Mommy".

New Beginnings

New beginnings can be difficult but often come with great rewards.  My big new beginning was the birth of my daughter 2 1/2 years ago.  I left a job that I love to be a stay at home mom.  I have learned a lot about the joy and trials of being a homemaker. My hope is to provide encouragement to other moms and offer insights I have learned on my journey.  These last years have been some of my favorites and I would have to say that this job is the hardest I have ever had, but by far it is the best.  I hope you enjoy the posts and that your life is better for it.