Not a Bandwagon Mom

I do not consider myself a bandwagon mom.  I don't get caught up in the hype on just about anything, especially the fickle reviews on certain foods.  Take the incredible eatable egg -- one day it is as bad as a cheeseburger and the next it is a super food.  But one bandwagon I am jumping on is the Down-with-fructose bandwagon.  That stuff is in everything: your bread, coffee creamer, and your child's yogurt.  I am disgusted that the foods that I thought were decently healthy are just giving me more of the same.  I am happy to say that there are some products out there that don't have fructose in them, but you have to look pretty hard.  So I found a website that has a list of products to help save you some time and energy reading those labels.  Now remember that this list may not be completely accurate, so take a quick glance at those ingredients.  But I hope that this gets you started.  http://stophfcs.com/list.html
Now let's also remember that there is no substitute for just plain old fresh food.  Obviously there is no fructose in broccoli.  Fresh is best, but I know as a mom sometimes Jello Pudding Snacks can be your best friend when you are facing a cranky two year old.  I have decided that I am going to try trade some of my favorite products for similar ones that don't contain fructose.  I really think that I am addicted to it and that I eat more calories when I eat something with fructose in it.  My first step was buying bread without it, so that I start my day without fructose. 
I am hoping to report that I will feel more healthy, energetic, and in control of my cravings as I cut out the dreaded fructose. 

Why Lord

I just learned today that a dear friend of mine just buried her husband after a 6 year battle with cancer, leaving behind 3 year old and 1 year old children.  It is at times like these that we ask, "Why Lord?"  This man, Scott, was a loving father and husband whose love for his wife was so evident on his face.  I met him just once but I saw his love for Jenn just oozing from every pore.  And just last year my best friend's brother-in-law was taken to heaven leaving behind his wife Katie and their two daughters.  And just a few weeks ago I also learned that a couple that I went to college with have a 5 year old son who is in the fight of his life with a very aggressive form of cancer.  And again we ask, "Why Lord?". 
I have been struggling with this very question ever since my sister-in-law, Kara Schenk McCue, died in a horrific boating accident in 2006.  Her death rattled my faith in God more than any event thus far in my life.  I began to question God's love for us.  I have never doubted God's power, but I really didn't understand his reasons for what he does or doesn't do. I believe that God has the power to heal and to rescue, but will he?  And for some reason I have been really struggling with this just recently.  I didn't understand what good can come from taking believers from their families who love them so much and hurt so much when they leave. 
But God had begun to answer why in a way that only he can. 
My husband and I have been studying John and recently read the story of the death of Lazarus.  I hope that you will all read it.  But in it Jesus learns that Lazarus is ill yet he doesn't run to Lazarus's side to heal him.  He waits 4 days.  The Lord knew that Lazarus was dying but he waited. When Jesus does join the family, they are in deep mourning and are wailing.  Jesus is so moved by their sorrow that he weeps.  The creator of the universe wept for a man and his suffering family.  Jesus also said "it is for God's glory" and "so that you may believe," that this happened  This story brought me such comfort.  To know that Jesus weeps right along with us when we hurt.  And also that he knows the ultimate outcome.
I may never see in this life the reasons for the suffering of the saints but I will see in heaven the completion of each of these lives as we celebrate for eternity.  Even now as I type I think that God may be calling his saints home to save them for this world that seems to be so quickly decaying.  Maybe instead of thinking "why Lord" I should be asking "Why not me Lord"?
I hope that you are ready to go if He calls you home!  If you want to know how to accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior and have your name written down in the Book of Life, I would love to tell you how.  May God bless Jenn and her family and yours!

Sometimes You Just Need a Day Off

Sometimes you just need a day off.  I feel this about every 3 or 4 weeks.  But for us moms there is no such thing as a day off.  Everyday there are diapers to be changed, clothes to change, baths to give, dinners to make, lunches to pack, and dishes to wash.  Tonight I am reminded that Jesus understood this feeling.  There were many times that Jesus tried to get off by himself to pray and often he was followed by a crowd or by someone needing a healing.  He was, I am sure, physically exhausted and emotionally drained.  But the joy he felt in doing his father's work was all he needed to keep going. 

Lord I pray that you would help us moms.  We need an infusion of you.  I pray that you would help us to find the joy in doing your work, in being a helpmate to our spouses and being a mom to our children.  Give us renewed energy.  Help us to find strength from you and from other moms.  Help us to not waste time feeling sorry for ourselves, but help us to remember all the blessings we have.  And I do pray that you would give us moments of rest and relaxation, even if it is just a cup of coffee while looking over the weekly ads.  And help us to be an encouragement to others as we see them struggling.  Help us remember that you know each of our sorrows and pains, and that you walk right along side of us through those times.  Thank you for loving us.  Surround us with your love.  Amen

Ladies if you are feeling like you could really use a day off, I hope that this prayer helps you.  But I also hope that you call a girlfriend and have a physical person to lean on who gets it.  Try as they may our husbands just don't really get it sometimes; we need to talk to someone who has been there, done that.  We need someone to cry with us, get mad with us, and not tell us to buck up soldier!  Hang in there:)

Embrace Your Differences

When my husband and I first met we thought we had so much in common.  We have the same favorite ice cream: mint chocolate chip.  We both like to listen to music and watch crime shows.  We both grew up with parents that worked really hard to earn enough money to care for their kids.  We both have a strong work ethic.  We both love kids.  But the longer we have been married the more we realize how different we really are.  And we are also learning that that is a good thing.  As the Lord himself said, "It is not good for man to be alone.  I will make a helper suitable for him."  God didn't say, "I will make a helper that is just like him."  Why are our differences good?  Balance.  We balance each other's weaknesses and strengths.  My husband is an energetic person that runs at 100mph, crashes hard, and wakes up raring to go all over again.  I run at about 40mph.  I am pretty even keel and don't get too excited or worked up about much of anything.  My husband will go out and immediately buy something that we need without giving it a second thought.  I will go without in order to save money.  I will wear stained shirts until my husband forces me to buy new clothes.  We need these differences in personalities to make our marriage work and help our family survive.  My husband has made a lot of split second decisions that have saved us a lot of money and heartache.  He saved us from loosing all our investments when the economy turned south.  If I had been in charge of making that decision, I would have waited, prayed about it, asked family for advice, and procrastinated until it was too late.  But sometimes my desire to never spend money has helped us to not live above our means.  See we balance each other out.  Maybe it is the social worker in me, but I enjoy our differences; it is like a new case study everyday.  Sometimes those differences frustrate us and make us crazy, but I am truly thankful for the mate God has given me and even more thankful that he is not just like me.  Try to remember this when you are frustrated with your mate.  God didn't want him or her to think just like you do.  We would be in a real mess if they did.

Laughter Really is the Best Medicine

Before I had kids, I worked for Community Hospital in a partial-psychiatric-hospitalization program for kids.  I loved my job, but in it I often heard some really terrible stories about what some of our patients and their families have been through.  I worked with kids who by age 10 had already attempted suicide or experienced hallucinations that told them to hurt themselves or someone they love.  These heartbreaking stories could sometimes be overwhelming and there were times when you just wanted to cry.  The staff's remedy to crying and becoming bogged down was to laugh.  Now understand that we never laughed at a child's expense but we learned to laugh at some of the silly things that would happen or at funny things the kids would say.  We even taught the kids how to laugh at themselves.  Our motto was "laugh so that you don't cry".  I think that this is a great motto for life, especially motherhood.  We can choose to get overwhelmed by the mess and the annoying things our kids and husbands do, or we can laugh it off.  For example, just yesterday my daughter asked for a cookie.  I told her "No".  I went to check on my son and I heard a strange sound coming from our kitchen.  I ran in there to find my 2 year old daughter kneeling on top of the kitchen table trying to get the cookie container open.  Now I could have snatched her up and put her in timeout or sent her to her room, but instead I just laughed.  I thought about how ingenious she was to find her step stool and climb up and try to sneak a cookie.  Now I am not condoning what she did.  She was not following mommy's rule, but sometimes it is okay to just laugh.  It becomes especially important on those days where you know it is going to be a long day.  You have to go to the store and the bank and your husband needs his jeans washed and the house needs cleaned because you are hosting playgroup in the morning and you have church tonight, and you also need to go into work for just a couple of hours, oh and you need to figure out what is for dinner.   You know the kind of days I am talking about.  Learn to laugh so that you don't cry.  You will feel alot better.  Life is too short to take everything so seriously.  I would love to hear some of your stories about some funny things your kids have done, like coloring all over your walls:)

Can I Have Some Cheese To Go With This Whine?

I am having a self-pity moment tonight.  I can’t really pinpoint why it started but I am knee deep in it.  I am just sick of cleaning to have the house look like a tornado hit just hours, sometimes minutes later.  I am sick of not having any money or time to myself.  I want to go on a date with my husband.  I want someone else to cook and clean.  I want to eat a greasy hamburger and I want to eat it by myself with no one to judge me.  Whine, whine, whine, whine, etc.

Self-pity doesn’t do anyone any good!  I know that, so why do I sometimes let it get me down?  We all do it, get focused on the crap and we lose sight of all the good.  Well it’s time to remind ourselves of all we have.  My pastor often gives the anecdote: I felt sorry for the man with no shoes till I met a man with no feet.  Someone always has it worse than us.  What about all I have?  I have a wonderful loving husband and 3 healthy kids.  I have a warm house to live in and food in my cupboard.  I have hands to type this blog.  I have the ability to take a walk with my kids on a warm day.  I have nice tile floors to walk on.  I have two working eyes to see God’s creation.  I have ears to hear my daughters sing.  I have arms to hold my infant son.  I have the abundance to have a choice about what I want to eat.  To some I have it all. 

Now don’t you feel better?  I do.  Counting your blessings is a perfect combat for self-pity.

You Might Be a Momma If

You might be a momma if... you have ever made a 2am Walgreens run for a paci.
You might be a momma if... you accidentally pour baby cereal into your coffee instead of sugar.
You might be a momma if... your wallet isn't in your purse, but 3 pacifiers are.
You might be a momma if... you wear scarves to cover spit up stains.
You might be a momma if... you ever have had to hand wash poopy socks (yeah I said socks).
You might be a momma if... you know all the uses for petroleum jelly.
You might be a momma if... you know where everyone else's shoes are but can't find your keys.
You might be a momma if... you think spaghetti tastes better cold.
You might be a momma if... you wash her tutu each night so that the morning is more pleasant.
You might be a momma if... you can feed a baby and stir the soup at the same time.
You might be a momma if... you have ever heard the words "Mom, he's touching me."
You might be a momma if... vomit, snot, and blood don't really bug you.
You might be a momma if... you have over 600 pictures on your camera memory card.

I hope this brings back good memories and hopefully some laughs for you.  God bless all the mommas.

Generosity Takes a Hit

I know this has happened to all of us.  I came out of the grocery store and was approached by a man asking for money.  He used the same line that every person does, "I need gas money to get home."  They always point to their car to show you that they really have a car.  Most of the time I don't carry cash, but I had some ones on me that I was going to use for a tip for getting my hair cut.  So I gave the guy a buck.  He seemed a little disgusted that that was all I gave him.  As I pulled away I started feeling my anger rise.  If that man was really in need why didn't he call one of his friends or his family.  Why doesn't he just use a credit card.  That's what most of us would do if we didn't have enough money for gas but really needed it.  Isn't that what credit cards are for -- emergencies?  So using that logic, why didn't this guy use his card?  There are really only three reasons why not.  1. He doesn't have one because he is a cash only kind of man.  2.  He left his wallet at home.  3.  He is a bad manager of money and has terrible credit and can't get a credit card.  You have 3 guesses to guess which one this guy's reason was, and the first two don't count.  My frustration continued because I thought that I should really feel good about helping someone, but really I just wanted my dollar back.  I had just went to the store to get enough food to make my husband's lunch with the last $40 dollars we had until pay day.  I was literally adding each penny on the calculator to make sure I didn't go over budget, and now I give my last dollar away.  Shouldn't I feel good about being generous?  I have to be honest that I am not naturally gifted with generosity, that's more my husband's thing.  But I am more than willing to help someone that I know is in real need.  Our country offers lots and lots of ways to get access to the things we need.  If a person needs food there are food pantries all over town.  You can also find churches who have free clothing for families in need.  The news channels give away toys and coats for the needy.  You can apply for food stamps and free health care if you need it.  You can even get free rent and reduced utilities if you need it.  So why are there people asking me for money in the parking lot? 
I hope that you understand that I am not discriminating against the poor, because I have had to use some government assistance in my life.  I am just frustrated with people who don't want to work.  Even in the Bible the poor had to work to eat.  During the harvest the harvesters were to leave the grain that fell to the ground for the poor.  But the poor had to actually come and glean the field themselves and pick up the grains that fell.  They didn't just stand on the edge of the field and ask for grain.  The ones that sat and asked for money were those who were physically unable to work.  I understand that times are hard and that jobs are scarce but the Bible says that if a man doesn't work, he doesn't eat.  Even if you don't have a job that pays money, you can work for what you need.  Like clean a local church in exchange for food.  Or pick up scrap metal for and trade it in for money.  If you are trying your best then yes you deserve help.  But please don't sit on your butt with your hand out, because you won't get a hand out from me any more.  And buddy, I want my dollar back.

I posted this and then thought about what was really making me upset.  I feel like he was lying.  If you are in need tell me, but don't lie about the reason.  If you are going to buy drugs say that.  And please don't tell me that your kids are starving if you are going to use the money to drink.  Genuine need deserves genuine help.

Creators not Consumers

I heard an interesting commentary today about Black Friday.  Most of us are appalled at the violence and the greed of Black Friday, but we hope to hear good news about the economy.  Do we really think that the economy will get better if we consume more?  On the contrary.  Our personal state and the state of our nation will get better if we create more and consume less.  We are made in the image of God.  Have you read anything about God consuming anything (expect sending consuming fire on evil)?  No.  God created and is continuing to create.  He created us to create as well.  Our nation's economy was built on a free market which is run by creativity and ingenuity.  If we are just consumers that sit and wait to buy or take, our economy will self destruct.  As moms we know all about being creative.  We have to be to keep our kids out of trouble.  Let us be creative in other areas of our lives.  Being creative doesn't mean just making a craft, but producing something that helps us or others in some way.  For instance, someone created the Slap Chop.  I use one on a weekly basis to chop veggies for salads and soups.  This tool helps me to make dinners more quickly so that I have time for other activities.  What can you create today that will be helpful?  I created this blog to inspire myself and others to live better lives and bring encouragement, challenge, and maybe some laughter.  Tell me what you have created, lets inspire each other.

Praying Expecting

This week in our church bulletin, our pastor's wife wrote a little message about noticing God in the small things and thanking Him for those blessings and answers to prayers.  And I had to give God praise for how He watches over my son.  Just this week, Landon pulled the frame to his swing down on himself.  It weighs at least 10 pounds.  And the way it fell, it perfectly fell on either side of Landon, missing him completely.  And then this weekend, I fell really hard in my parents stone driveway.  Thankfully I wasn't carrying either of the kids.  As I started reflecting on God's protection, I thought why am I so shocked when God gives protection, I pray for Him to protect my children each night as I go to bed.  What I mean is that we pray so often without really expecting God to answer.  At least that is often how I pray.  It is like I am just hoping that God will hear me, and not looking for the answer.  But if I really step back and take a good look, God does answer my prayers.  Like just today, I was so shocked when my husband led our family in family devotions.  Why was I so shocked?  I have been praying that God would make my husband into the spiritual leader our family needs.  And I have been praying for God to meet our financial needs and two weeks in a row God has provided extra work that we weren't expecting.  I challenge you and myself to pray expecting.  God wants to bless us.  "Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone?  Or if he asks for an fish, will give him a snake?  If you then, though you are evil,  know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!" Matthew 7:11