In this economy it is a good idea to diversify your skill set as to appear more lucrative to companies, so I decided to update my resume.
Julia Ping
123 Main St.
(317) 222-2222
Professional Experience:
Professional Laundry Maid -- skilled in removing all types of stains and smells. Can make your clothes look new again, or at least wearable.
Professional Housekeeper -- skilled at tossing toys long distances into proper receptacle and scraping unknown particles from tile floors.
Professional Reader -- skilled at making any children's book exciting
Professional Nurse -- (no nursing degree) skilled at applying Elmo band-aids to any real or imagined hurt.
Professional Insomniac -- I can stay up all night if needed.
Professional Wiper -- skilled at wiping down walls, floors, couches, chairs, televisions, but especially faces and butts.
Please call me only if you don't need me to perform any of these skills.
I have been thinking about what a great but wiper I have become and ran with the idea for a new resume. I hope it makes you smile or even giggle right our loud.
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